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Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Sunday Chuckles

Chuckles courtesy of Grandpa.


Happy Sunday, everyone!


-Myrnie



Children in Church
A little boy was in a relative's wedding. 
 As he was coming down the aisle, he would take two steps,
stop, and turn to the crowd.
    While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar.
     So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle.
As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard
by the time he reached the pulpit.
When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said,
"I was being the Ring Bear."




One Sunday in a Midwest City ,
a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour.
The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew
but were losing the battle.
   Finally, the father picked the little fellow up
and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out.
     Just before reaching the safety of the foyer,
the little one called loudly to the congregation,
"Pray for me! Pray for me!" 




One particular four-year old prayed,
"And forgive us our trash baskets
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."




A little boy was overheard praying:
"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.
I'm having a real good time like I am."




A Sunday School teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service,
"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
      One bright little guy replied, "Because people are sleeping."




A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, 
looking at the old pages as he turned them.
     Then something fell out of the Bible.
He picked it up and looked at it closely.
It was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between the pages.
"Mama, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.
      With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered,
"It's Adam 's suit"..




  The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike,
and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform,
 jerking the mike cord as he went.
     Then he moved to one side,
getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again.
     After several circles and jerks,
a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered,
 "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"




Six-year old Angie , and her four-year old brother, Joel , were sitting together in church.   
Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud.
Finally, his big sister had had enough.
"You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."
"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,
"See those two men standing by the door?
They're hushers." 




  My grandson was visiting one day when he asked ,
"Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"
      I mentally polished my halo, while I asked,
"No, how are we alike?"
"You're both old," he replied.




A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother,
was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible.
      Then, one day, she floored her grandmother by asking,
"Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus ? The virgin Mary or the  King James Virgin ?"




Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Laugh for the Day: The Trouble with Genealogy

Wonder Daddy's grandparents are currently serving a family history mission at the Family History Center in Salt Lake City, Utah. They work on the phone lines mostly, answering genealogy questions from people all over the world. If the caller speaks English, it's fair game for Grandma and Grandpa's lines!

**If you've ever thought about getting into family history, or have any questions, check out Family Search, the LDS genealogy database. I believe it's one of the largest in the world, and completely free. Try plugging in a deceased relative, and see what you find!**

They sent these quips in their last letter to the family- enjoy!

Questions to the Family History Library:

* He and his daughter are listed as not being born.

* I would like to find out if I have any living relatives or dead relatives or ancestors in my family.

* Will you send me a list of all the Dripps in your library?

* My Grandfather died at the age of 3.

* We are sending you 5 children in a separate envelope.

* Documentation: Family Bible in possession of Aunt Merle until the tornado hit Topeka, Kansas. Now only the Good Lord knows where it is.

* The wife of #22 could not be found. Somebody suggested that she might have been stillborn - what do you think?

* I am mailing you my aunt and uncle and 3 of their children.

* Enclosed please find my Grandmother. I have worked on her for 30 years without success. Now see what you can do!

* I have a hard time finding myself in London. If I were there I was very small and cannot be found.

* This family had 7 nephews that I am unable to find. If you know who they are, please add them to the list.

* We lost our Grandmother, will you please send us a copy?